Today has been really hard. Nothing seemed right today, and of course nothing is right because you are not here. You should fucking be here. I don't know what happened that night/morning or whatever but it was a fucking mistake. You were special. Everyone knew it that's why people gravitated towards you. That's why I gravitated towards you and I am so glad I did. I am so grateful for the 7 years of friendship we had. I know that part of who I am today is because of you. You saw me at my darkest times, and pulled me out of it. Twice. Once as a lost 16 year old girl pissed off at her mother and then again as a 19 year old girl who lost her first love. You were my rock through all that. You understood my family shit in ways other people could never understand and you helped me find self worth and confidence that I never imagined I could have. You made me laugh all the time and listened to me cry when I needed it. You drove over at moments notice to help me re edit a stupid film for class that I completely fucked up on. I was about to lose my mind and you brought me back. You always had a way of grounding me and bringing me back from the crazy. I will never forget that. When I had to finally make up my mind about who I was going to chose to love, you had my back. You never judged me or talked shit about my choice. EVERY ONE thought they knew what was best for me and that I should stay with him, when I knew in my heart that I needed to leave. AND EVERY ONE thought there was something going on between us when there wasn't. I understand it is rare for a male and a female to have a friendship that is not sexual, but it is possible. I trusted you like I could never trust a man that I loved, because I knew you would never hurt me like that. Well you did hurt me, way worse, by leaving. Losing my grandpa who raised me and you who helped me through my darkest times was the hardest fucking year of my life. You two were invincible in my eyes and I would never imagine in a million years that you both would be gone. It broke me losing you guys. I did bounce back, and I am much stronger than I was. I am very close to being the person I want to be. I know no one is perfect but I am happy with where I am. The only thing missing is my two rocks, now my two angels. You were such an important person to me and the world. Thank you. Thank you for all the love and support you gave me and continue to give me. I know your there. I can feel you sometimes. Thank you for convincing me to take a chance with Eli, you were right. He is a good guy. I was so afraid of love and letting someone in, and you reminded me that the past is the past and that I shouldn't judge someone based on someone else's mistakes. You always knew the right words to say to make sense out my crazy thoughts. You knew me. I know that you had a similar connection with others because I have heard stories like that. We were lucky to know you and to have you play such an important part in our lives. And even though losing you hurt like fucking hell and still stings, I would feel that all over again tenfold to have you back with us. I miss you Daniel. More than words can express, and more than I can even comprehend. People may not understand our friendship, but I did and I know you did. It made more sense to me that most of my relationships with other friends and even family. You are my family because you saved me, more than once. And you were always there for me, always. I know you still are. I love you.
-Danielle
